.....everybody has been so kind about everything else I've shared and I've spent a day simultaneously exhausted and nervy, and I have to let some of it out before I collapse into bed..
We had a new experience today, not of a pleasant kind. The house was broken into.
Yup, arrived home after work and opened the door to a feeling of "notrightnotrightnotright" - I don't leave drawers and closets open, I don't!
Somebody broke a window and made off with everything of value that they could find and easily carry - which didn't encompass everything of material/sentimental value to us, but was a good many things. Among them, most of my jewelry and my 2008 laptop (really, dumdum?)
He (I assume?) left all the musical instruments although he removed my euphonium from its soft carry case and took that (to haul away the other items?) And, weirdly, left the euphonium carefully placed upright on a table. Other areas of the house were a mess, drawers pulled apart, boxes empty, stuff thrown everywhere. The thought of my euphonium placed carefully amid the chaos still baffles me.
We're fine, the house is not damaged other than the window; the worst of it for me is the creepiness of feeling violated.
Can I find an IF angle?
Well, hell yeah.
How important are material things to me. Not very, I've discovered.
The only thing on the laptop whose loss I regret was digital photographs. Some are certainly gone for good; luckily I do have quite a few of my photos uploaded or saved elsewhere. And I was seriously considering deleting some of my Facebook albums. Yeah, good thing I didn't.
The jewelry, well that's sad. Most of it was gifts from people, especially Mr. Turtle. I'm not devastated though. After all, the jewelry was not Mr. Turtle, and he is still here (and glaring at the TV, very pissed off, I might add).
I have about 3 complete sets of earrings left, and a brooch my mom gave me at age 11 to commemorate a dance performance. It was in a back drawer.
Why am I not really cut up about this?
Well. In the past 3 years I've watched my stepmother in law deal with the death of her youngest son in a car accident. Have seen my sister in law lose her mother to cancer 2 months after her wedding. Have faced infertility.
I know my stepmother in law would have given all her jewelry and more if she could have saved her son. I know my sister in law would have done the same if she could have saved her mother. I know what I would give to have a child, if it was a matter of me giving.
None of that makes it OK that somebody violated our home and took our stuff. But, when you get in the habit of thinking about what really matters in life, well, it's not hard to apply that thinking to other situations.
The hardest part for me will be reclaiming the peace and safety of the house - this is where we come to feel safe from the world, not to do battle with its evils. I guess we just have to find that safety in each other.