Still, I'm hardly going to look back on the events of last month with fondness. Things could have gone differently, but they didn't, they went how they went. And I won't pretend to be past it yet; I was doing pretty good with moving on from the failed IVF, but then the burglary happened and the feeling of fear and personal violation has made it harder to cope with the other challenges, too. Nothing has changed in the rational analysis of things; we have a path to walk and we are ready to walk it. But in the past few days I've had a lot of emotions; my appetite has gone down, and I tire easily. I think what I'm doing right is recognizing and asking for what I need, day to day, and also accepting that every day is different. Maybe I am upset one day for an hour, but the next day, the morning is great. And then in the afternoon things are hard again but I need something different from the previous day. So it goes.
Yesterday my co-teacher gave me a crocus, and a card where she wrote this poem:
"Be gone January 2014!
You cast cold, dark shadows into undeserving lives.
But after today, you are no more.
The sun's rays are gathering strength
Reaching into sorrowful corners
Renewing with the warmth of love."