Sunday 26 January 2014

What happens after (cancelled) IVF?

Now, I don't mean  "What happens after cancelled IVF...DUM DUM DUM..."

...as in, what are the next steps in treatments. We're working on that angle, but it's not something I'm prepared to blog about just yet. Suffice it to say that we are working on Plan B as described in  my entry on Charting Our Course. But I'm not ready to go into it or discuss it right now, if for no other reason that I'm afraid people are going to try to argue me out of it, or in the the case of our non-IF loved ones, bombard us with "their perspective" which, no offense to them, is just not very well informed. Mr. Turtle and I need to focus on each other right now.  I don't feel like explaining/educating/playing counsellor/enduring other people's attempts to play counsellor with me. Eventually I'll be able to deal with that, just not....yet.

What I mean is what actually happens to my body after an IVF cycle cancelled before retrieval?

When we first heard the cycle wasn't working out, this admittedly was the last thing I cared about. After our final scan, the nurse told me "Eventually you'll have a period, but it probably won't be much of  a period" - because my lining was very thin. I can't remember if she said anything after that and I didn't ask any questions.

But after about a week I started to wonder, and I can't find much about it online, other than discussion boards with various people's rambling, which I don't feel like picking through. I don't know if anyone has had a similar experience of a cycle cancelled so early and what happened afterwards.

To be completely clear, scan after 9 days of Gonal-F/Menopur, and 11 days of Suprefact showed a 2.5mm lining, and two very small follicles - I think 1.9 mm was mentioned.  I never grew any follicles, and therefore my body produced no estrogen. Total non-starter. I stopped all drugs immediately.

I paid no attention to anything for several days, but then I started to wonder because around CD 25-27, I started getting what could be interpreted as fertile signs - e.g. slippery/stretchy CM and low readings on my Ovacue monitor. It could well be nothing - but it was also the first slippery CM that I've had since starting the IVF cycle. I was dry when on  the BCP and the fertility drugs.  Right now I'm on CD 27, which should be the end of my cycle if my body was on its natural rhythms (and somewhat within its norm). But...if I count from the day that I stopped Suprefact, I'm on CD 11....which is about the time I'd normally ovulate, give or take.

Is it possible for one's body to just restart a cycle after going of the drugs?  It seems ridiculous...and ironic in an annoying way....but I wonder. If nothing else, it feels somehow reassuring to have familiar responses in my body.  Everything was off when I was on BCP / fertility drugs. Period was very light, nothing was responsive, dryness made sex uncomfortable...which I'll be honest, bothered me quite a bit. The months before IVF had been pretty good sex-wise...whether it was the acupuncture or supplements or whatever, I had an increase in CM and it made all that TTC quite a bit more pleasant. Maybe we can't make a baby the regular way, but I'd still like to have good sex.

Anyway. Add this to the list of things I never dreamed I'd think about. Back to Sunday chores now.

16 comments:

  1. As if these IF struggles aren't enough, it just adds insult to injury that it destroys one of my favorite things in life—sex. So I'm glad you're able to enjoy yourself again. And I'm sure Mr. Turtle is relieved too :)

    As for plan B, I hope you know I 100% support you and your husband and if you ever need to talk to someone who won't judge you, I'm here for you.

    For right now, I hope you're doing alright and giving yourself time to grieve and process whatever you need to. This was a lot. Sending love.

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    1. Isn't that true! I hate when it impacts sex. Mr. Turtle and I are doing fine so far relationship-wise, but it did bother me when the drugs made my body "off" and I just didn't seem as responsive physically as I usually am. I am hoping that things return quickly to normal, even if my normal is sub-fertile.

      Thanks for the support. I am alright, I think, it's just a weird space to be in. Well, I guess everyone in this community is in a weird space, but just when I think I've adjusted to one kind of weird, along comes another. But thank you again for your kind words and I wish the same for you, always. xo

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  2. For what it's worth, I had a cycle cancelled around day 7 or 9 of stims...I ended up getting a period pretty soon afterward, if I recall correctly. Looking forward to hearing about plan B, when you're ready to share.

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    1. Thanks, good to know! That sounds pretty similar to my situation. I hope everything went well for you this weekend!

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  3. Everybody's body is so different, and this is the non-lucrative side of fertility medicine, so it would not surprise me if not much is known. I know that mine gets to cd about 28/29 and just lets go, regardless of the amount of progesterone and hormones otherwise in the body.
    I do know that after the failed ivf cycles and the d & c's I always get the " your next period will be either heavier or lighter than normal, and may be earlier or later than normal. Call us if anything is wrong spiel." which is totally useless.
    Hopefully plan b will work.

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    1. Thank you, it helps to hear what others experienced. I imagine there is no way to predict how each individual will react after going off the medications. But how would you know if something is "wrong?" Oh well.

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  4. Procreative sex truly sucks. My husband was actually glad when we moved forward with fertility treatments, and our sex life improved. Happy banging!

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    1. Heh, I think recently it was "we refuse to feel despair and defeat" sex.

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  5. I had and am still having the problem with dryness. It's not like we are allowed to have sex right now anyway but it's just super uncomfortable to be so dry. I'm glad things are starting to feel normal to you now. Always wishing you the best!

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    1. thank you! glad I'm not the only one. Gives me confidence that it is (was?) just temporary. sending good wishes to you too!

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  6. It does seem like your body is resuming a natural cycle on its own, and I'm glad that you and Mr Turtle are able to enjoy yourselves again. I really wish I had an answer as to why the drugs didn't work for you. I have come across a few stories (don't remember where from) of low or non-response to IVF drugs that ended happily... I'm sure you can find these on the forums, that is if you have the energy to plough through the posts. But if you eventually decide on Plan B, I'll definitely support you all the way.

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    1. thank you! decisions made, pretty much, just waiting for some forward motion

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  7. I'm glad your body seems to be getting its groove back. I always had the same issue of dryness with birth control pills. I am so sorry about the first round of IVF, friend. But I am excited for your next steps (I remember reading your post called "Charting our Course" and I thought it was so wise and carefully thought out). Hope this new year brings some better luck your way soon.

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    1. Thank you! I'm hopeful there will be positive developments and good news this year.

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  8. Good to hear your body is recovering. I think infertility takes such a toll on sex life, so I really hope at least that part will be better again soon.

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