So, obviously, this was NOT my lucky week.
On the other hand, I do feel lucky in a lot of ways.
Mr. Turtle and I both were able to take Tuesday off and spend quality time together. We walked in a nearby park (narrowly avoiding slipping on the ice that is all over the city and its environs) and enjoyed the view of the mountains and foothills. We went for lunch. We were there for each other. It matters.
Everyone at my school whom I've told about IVF #1 and its sorry conclusion continues to be very supportive. A few people I work with, but whom I hadn't disclosed to, asked about my health as they were wondering about all the medical appointments. So I gave them the Coles Notes version, explaining that while I'm actually quite comfortable with people knowing, it can be a burden to have to always update people, so sometimes it's easier to not be specific. But I did appreciate the concern.
My students had a very good week, and everything I'd planned for them, including field trips - one of which I missed - went beautifully. This was a big help in that it reduced my stress, and it was also a good lesson that things can go just fine even when I'm not worrying about them. For a lot of my life I've had this notion that if I don't worry, stress, anguish and generally make myself ill and crazy with anxiety, that my plans will fail and bad things will happen. Well, that's just bullshit Turtle, and now is a great time to get over that.
Friday evening Mr. Turtle and I went to my staff party (replacing staff Christmas party.) The organizers did an excellent job. We had a room in the most beautiful hotel in the city, and a delicious dinner. My co-teacher and two of my other close colleagues where there, and they are definitely people I can enjoy spending time with outside of work. There were about 50 people there. We are a staff of about 200 but to get everybody together is like herding cats. I also think teachers are peculiarly resistant to being corralled and organized, since we spend so much of our time doing that for other people When it comes time for us to organize and follow instructions, we grumble and snark or just outright refuse to consider it. I'm that way sometimes too, but I'm glad that Mr. Turtle and I came to this evening because it was great.
I won grand door prize!
Now, really, I never win anything. I'm so bad at any game (except Scrabble and Bananagram) that it's laughable. I don't "get" team sports and never have. I never gamble or enter the lottery because I know I wouldn't win (neither do most people, of course). And door prizes always go to somebody else.
Grand prize was:
-$100 gift certificate to spa at Fairmount hotels
-entry for 2 to Sunday brunch at the hotel
-entry for 2 to "Death By Chocolate" - which is pretty much what it sounds like
-a bottle of wine
-a gift basket of goodies put together by the hotel chefs
Ironically, while they were telling the group what the grand prize was, I said to my table that it really wasn't fair to give all those prizes to one person - they should have split them up so more people would get them. Mr. Turtle said to me "You know now you're going to win, right?"
And, lo and behold, my name was called.
So I got up, feeling very surprised and a bit guilty. I still felt like I should give the presents back. But I didn't. Although I still feel a bit weird about accepting all that stuff. I'm not supposed to be the lucky person. The nice part was, the people who knew about the IVF cycle all told me that after the kind of week I'd had, they were thrilled that I won the big gifts. And I know they meant it.
But it is so weird, isn't it? I think I'll have to share some of the gifts because I can't quite get over it.
Anyway. Mr. Turtle and I will enjoy all of those gifts together in the next few chilly weeks, while we ponder our next steps. Except for the bottle of wine, which I will enjoy on my own or with other wine-inclined people, as Mr. Turtle doesn't drink.
Our appointment with Dr. Cotter on Thursday went well. I will wait a few days to update, because we are still processing everything and I feel like I need a break from reading and writing constantly about IVF and infertility. Once again, thank you everyone for reading. I would totally share my treats and wine with you if you could come to my house.