Today I'm pleased with myself because I made a good decision.
It is a non-instructional day in our school system. This means that there are no students in school but teachers have a day to complete other tasks or learning activities. Sometimes these days are structured, sometimes they are not.
A few weeks ago, our learning leader asked everyone in the special ed department to go to a workshop on an assessment tool during the non-instructional day today. She told us the date, the location, and then forwarded an email with information in an attachment. I made note of the date and location but didn't bother to open the attachment until late last night. When I did and read it I realized the workshop today had nothing to do with what the learning leader said it did and it didn't even directly apply to my current work. But it was too late to clarify what I should do. This might sound like a trivial matter but it annoyed me. The location I was supposed to go to was across town. I would have to drive during rush hour. I was fairly certain I didn't have to go, but then I worried about looking foolish if it turned out I should be there and didn't show up.
I made up my mind to go, then not to go, then I worried about traffic, then I wondered about taking the bus, or the train. I suggested different possibilities to Mr. Turtle who said that if we were late on our morning routine he would miss his time to eat breakfast. And so on. It was all making me very anxious. Also I was irritated with my learning leader for sending confusing information, and with myself for not checking the information earlier.
Finally, I considered the alternative. There were no scheduled activities at our school. So if didn't go to the workshop, I would be working on my own in my classroom. I like to have time to get things done, but did I really want to work on my own today when there was another option? I decided I didn't. Besides, I had already had some time to complete tasks on my own last week. So I decided to go to the workshop, even if it wasn't specifically targeted to my teaching assignment.
My anxieties turned out to be misplaced. There was very little traffic and the drive was easy. When I walked in the door, the first person I saw was an educational assistant I had worked with at my old school. I was so happy to see her! I decided then and there that just seeing her was worth the trip. We caught up and I showed her baby (toddler, rather) pictures. I also met my learning leader and she admitted the information was confusing and that she had been mistaken. So I was glad to learn that and not have to wonder all day if I had just been stupid. Finally, although the workshop wasn't what I had been led to believe, it was still very good (all about using visuals). I learned at least one thing I can start using immediately.
And as it turned out I still had time to come back to school and do some work on my own (inspired by the workshop, actually).
The moral of the story? Forget the anxiety and doubts and just show up. For the workshop, for life, to see other people, whatever. At least it worked out this time. I'm very happy with my day. And since the next part involves tacos, AJ and Mr. Turtle, I'm pretty sure it will just get better.
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