Thank you so much for all the kind comments on my last entry. I love that you told me you are happy for me, because I still can't quite manage to be happy for myself. But I am, I think, managing to keep the terror at bay.
My latest panic was over the fact I took 2 doses of Ad.vil in the last 24 hours. Dummy! The one time I didn't google obsessively. I did read the bottle first (nothing about pregnancy). I have developed a somewhat nasty cold in the past 5 days. I took the first dose because I am in the habit of taking it for colds (it's one thing that actually helps me). The second time, several hours later at night, I took it because I woke up with dreadful sinus pain and that was what my fuzzy mind told me to do. But when I googled Ad.vil this evening, I learned it is "not recommended for pregnancy." The risk during early pregnancy is very low, if indeed there is one. It was also a one off dose (not like I'm going to take it all the time). But it's still not recommended, and I wish I hadn't taken it. OK, universe, I promise, I won't touch any OTC medicines again with a ten foot pole. Please continue to give me a break here. Please.
I took another ClearBlue this morning, the one that calculates how many weeks.
So according to ClearBlue I've been pregnant for about 3 weeks. That fits with my calculations, and it did make me feel a little better for the moment because for the test to give me a 3 weeks+ time frame, the HcG levels must be rising appropriately. That seems kinda reassuring. On the other hand I wonder about what other dreadful things I've been doing in the past 3 weeks that a pregnant person shouldn't have been doing. (You know, all that time when I didn't have the nerve to TAKE THE TEST.) The occasional cup of coffee. A glass of wine on the odd evening (But not in the last 2 weeks!). Not being relaxed.
But, um, in the big picture I think mostly I've done OK. I've taken my folic acid pretty religiously the past months. Also have been on low dose aspirin since the beginning of January (that was directed by the Fertility Clinic.) And I picked up some pre-natal vitamins today.
The Fertility Clinic called me back. As I suspected, they said "Congratulations" and to call my family doctor. Since they didn't actually get me pregnant, at least not in any pre-meditated fashion, I'm not under their care. Should we need them again (please not!) our referral stands for a year.
My appointment with my doctor is on Thursday. He will do a test to confirm the pregnancy, but from what the receptionist said, it's another pee test. Maybe he'll do a blood test too. I'm OK with seeing my doctor instead of The Fertility Clinic, if only because he's a lot closer to my house. It's a major operation to get across the city to The Fertility Clinic. But I worry about not getting the same attention to detail from a regular doctor as from a fertility doctor. I want to be analyzed obsessively like the medical freak that I am! Or maybe I don't, I don't know. It would be nice to be reassured that I'm the most boring, ordinary pregnant person ever and will be that way for the next 9 months.
I found this website quite a while ago, and for a while it was my favourite reading during 2 week waits. Then, when the months of disappointment stretched on and turned into a double infertility diagnosis, I started avoiding it. I'm letting myself look at it again. It's amazing. It describes in detail and in pictures exactly what is going on at each stage of development.
Here is the first week of pregnancy.
Next, 1-2 weeks
According to ClearBlue and my own estimates, I should be somewhere around 2 - 3 weeks. All that is hopefully going on inside me right now.
If I tune out everything and just pay attention to my body, I think things are going fine.
Any suggestions for what I should ask my doctor on Thursday?
Any advice for other things I should be doing (or not doing)? I know, no OTC medicines, I got it now!!!
OK. I ramble, I know. I don't know what else to do or say.
Love and best wishes to everyone.