Wednesday, 8 May 2019

Dani 15 months, AJ four years, life now

Why not, another random update.

Dani at 15 months:

-walking, sometimes almost running
-climbs on everything
-bumps her head a lot 
-words most often heard: “kitty” (means anything with a....face?) and “mama” (refers to a dress of AJ’s made out of very soft fabric which is her favourite comfort object. Sometimes refers to me.)
-other words heard occasionally: monkey, banana, blanket, ball, puppy, dad. Animal sounds: meow, rawr, ruff, hisss, moo.
-eats with a spoon fairly successfully. Likes to feed other people.
-drinks from a straw and an open cup, but will fling her drink given the chance
-Going through her clothes. Sometimes expresses a preference what she wants to wear.  Trying on everyone’s shoes. Putting on necklaces and bracelets
-playing with dirt. Likes to taste
-scribbling with sidewalk chalk
-picking up tiny treasures outside and in, always the stuff she shouldn’t have 
-playing games with people: peekaboo, hiding objects
-passing a ball back and forth or kicking a ball.
-swinging and bouncing
Happy noises: whee, whee and maniacal laughter (she has my laugh I think: “H-hnh H-hnh H-hnh!). Sometimes starts chortling  with laughter right when she is supposed to be going to sleep
Loves: big sister, big sisters clothes and toys, taking everything out of drawers. 
Music. Always tries to play the piano beside AJ. Tries to play the recorder and harmonica (she makes sounds)
Smiling and making friends.

Definitely one of the sillier and more amazing people I have known.

We are enjoying life in the spring. Lots of time outside. I have applied to go back to work full time in September (I am on an extended leave). I think about it a lot but so far not with too much anxiety, just nervous about how busy it will be. I don’t know for sure if I will go back to the same job, but haven’t heard otherwise.

Childcare for both kids is decided and kindergarten orientation for AJ is later this month. She is so excited to go. We have been doing a lot of activities the last few months: yoga, music, swimming, ballet and for the most part she is very excited to learn new skills and it’s fun to watch. She is also starting to learn what it feels like to be frustrated and have difficulty and not meet her own expectations, which can be painful to watch especially since I have perfectionist qualities. But it is not overwhelming I think and I remind myself it is not my job to protect her from those tough feelings but to teach her to understand them. It is an interesting challenge to do that.  Parenting can be very humbling. I knew already that teaching requires me to be introspective and face up to my fears and flaws and it is similar with little kids. 

Enjoying the adventure, and these rare moments of stillness haha.

Thursday, 4 April 2019

Infertile filters

So part of why I’m not around the blog world much is that I want to desensitize myself to stimuli that tend to bother people who are actively trying and struggling to have a child: words, stories, other people’s beliefs and actions, all of it.  I want to reprogram my brain, basically, and a lot of that is distance and critical thinking, and not feeding the mental feedback loops. 

Sometimes though, I can’t help my reaction and I thought this case was mostly funny.

I got an email from our local zoo:

We can BEARly contain our excitement! 

As valued members, we wanted to bring you this exciting news first!

Adult female panda, Er Shun, was artificially inseminated yesterday as part of a planned collaborative breeding program! Pandas only ovulate for up to three days out of the year, making breeding for this vulnerable species extremely tricky. 

In mid-March, Er Shun entered her breeding cycle and the animal care team had been monitoring her hormone levels daily, waiting for the precise time to artificially inseminate her with the help of a specialist from China.​ The success of the procedure will be confirmed by ultrasound and could take several weeks since pandas experience embryonic diapause – delayed implantation in the uterus. Er Shun is being cared for by a comprehensive team in her custom den in Panda Passage’s back of house area. ​(there’s a video of the procedure if you are curious).

First thought: Why are you sharing this she hadn’t even taken a pregnancy test!

Oh right it’s a panda bear, moving on.....

Best of luck to Er Shun and all involved.

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

Dani at one (plus)

All about Dani at one (well almost 14 months now)

Words: kitt-eeeee! Refers to cats but also any fuzzy object or anything she likes, really. “Mee-yow!” Because mom is silly and meows at her. Dani will also say “kitty” if I say “meow.” Tried to get her to say “puppy” instead of kitty when we saw a dog outside, and she did. She sounded like a minion.

“Mummy” and “Daddy” more consistently. She tries to say her sister’s name too: “Ah-wes”.  She will also say 2-3 syllables in imitation of her own name and it's getting clearer and clearer.

Dani has loved saying “hi” for quite a while and has now added “Bye.”  Sometimes  “ball”. She imitates noises like “swoosh-swoosh”.

Other ways to communicate: “yodel-odle-odle-oh” seems to indicate approval of something and / or “give me more” (e.g. at dinner). Extremely abrasive screech: give me more NOW! Or “pay attention to me NOW.”
She will shove or scratch like a mad cat if she doesn’t like what someone is doing (but is mostly good natured).

Walking while holding one hand...she totally can walk on her own but won't make up her mind to just go for it yet.

Insanely contagious and hilarious giggles.

We had Dani's birthday party back in February. We put it off twice due to the family being sick. It happened eventually. I'm late with updates because....well second child; I didn't take any photos myself, and uh, second child.

Cake time!
On her actual first birthday. Going out for ice cream

I probably won't be updating the blog much anymore. The focus of my emotional and intellectual energy, and my online activities and interests, has moved elsewhere. But this seems like a nice way to round out my record of the last 6 years. Perhaps I'll drop by occasionally with memories and observations.

Thank you everyone who reads and may cruise by in the future. Dreams do come true. I hope yours do too, even if the dream evolves along the way.

Sunday, 17 February 2019

5 years ago

The past few days I’ve been thinking of this day in 2014.

Five years ago I took a pregnancy test and it was positive, to my eternal shock. 

In a couple of weeks we should have made a decision what school that baby is going to for kindergarten.

I’ve marked a few “five years” anniversaries on the blog. It seems like a number that should  be acknowledged. This fiver feels particularly amazing, somehow.

The weeks after February 17th  didn’t go smoothly. At the time it felt like they might be the undoing of me. But they began a new story, and here we are. I have a four year old, a one year old, and I don’t know offhand what day of my cycle I’m on. 

I’m grateful for the gift of years, to look back on that moment in time with a different perspective. Part of the story.