Thursday, 6 March 2014

"There's a little baby in there!"

3rd ultrasound.

We (the tech, mainly, and me, kinda) saw:

- An embryo measuring 6 weeks, 6 days
-A HEARTBEAT of 139bpm

The tech found the embryo and heartbeat right away with the abdominal ultrasound, but decided to also use the vaginal ultrasound to get a better view. The screen above me was turned on. At first all I could see was grey and black blobs, and they all looked the same. But I was able to see the fetal pole when she pointed it out, and I think I saw the flicker of the heartbeat when she did the internal ultrasound.  Mainly I was stunned that I was actually hearing the words "There's a little baby there!"

I follow up with my doctor tomorrow (and they promised to fax him the results) so we will go over details then. 6 weeks 6 days sounds spot-on to me for an embryo conceived in the last 2 weeks of January.

I'm a bit dazed. I really didn't know how today would go. I've alternated between cautious hope and grim conviction of doom. I also know it's still early days and nothing is guaranteed.  But - but - there is something alive in me and I saw it!!  AlivealivealivealiveALIVE!!! I have (in the privacy of my sometimes cynical mind) been calling this "my horrible miracle pregnancy." Today though, I'm feeling the miracle part more than the horrible part. And I'm grateful.

Thank you all so much for all your support, for your courage and positive thoughts and faith and rational observations when I had none.  I know a lot of that courage and faith comes from a place of struggle and heartbreak. I wish it didn't come at such a steep cost but all the comments and good thoughts are so, so appreciated. Thank you. 

I think I have a nap now.

30 comments:

  1. Oh I am SO excited for you! What a great outcome after such a stressful couple of weeks. Congratulations! And now the long wait begins... xx

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    1. thank you! I'm excited too. The long wait....yeah. I kinda wish somebody would shoot me with a sleep dart, and I could wake up well into the second trimester if not later. Of course I often feel like I have been shot with a sleep dart.

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  2. YAY!! What a relief! You are pregnant with a little one inside that has a heartbeat! Wow. Live on baby! Let mommy take a nice nap. :)

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    1. Thank you. It is Wow. Life is a miracle.

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  3. This is such fantastic news!

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    1. Thank you. thinking of you and hoping for more fantastic news.

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  4. Replies
    1. Thank you. I appreciate all the checking in!

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  5. I'm overjoyed to hear this! Yay!

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    1. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you read and comment. Sending love.

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  6. Yay! This is awesome news!! Keep growing, little turtle baby!

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    1. Thank you! I hope he/she listens!

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  7. SUCH wonderful news!! This post has me tearing up a bit. There is a little baby in there. Today you are pregnant. A miracle, yes. I am so happy for you and continuing to send nothing but love and good vibes and hope to you and that little life.

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    1. thanks so much. It is a gift to be able to meet each day with hope.

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  8. Woo Hoo!!! That's great news. This is really the best. I'm so happy that with each passing day things look better and better for you, your husband and that little one!

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    1. thank you. Me too. So exciting to know he/she is growing!

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  9. Congratulations! You deserve this sweet baby.

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  10. What wonderful news!! So happy for you!

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    1. Thanks! yesterday was a day of wonder - hoping there are many more to come!

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    1. Me too. Thank you for all your reassurance.

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  12. I don't know why but I am only now starting to follow your story....sorry! But I'm glad that I am catching up on your amazing news! Congrats, I know exactly how you feel about being stunned that there is something alive inside you, it still doesn't feel real to me and I'm half way done!

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    1. thank you! I for sure have a hard time believing it sometimes but I keep repeating the words to myself to think positively! lol Excited to hear that you are half-way done.

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  13. Congratulations! And it is so scary, those weeks, particularly with the bleeding. But a heartbeat means a lot.

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    1. thanks! it does, I keep telling myself that!

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  14. So exiting. Congratulations!
    www.mommy-dreaming.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you for the kind comment and the link back to the blog - I will check it out!

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