Thursday, 15 February 2018

Two weeks baby/post partum

We've been taking it pretty easy the past two weeks. Considering January was packed full of appointments, decisions, schedules, plans and finally our date with destiny, it's been a huge relief to hibernate for a while....particularly since our city was buried in snow the week after Dani was born. What a relief to not need to leave the house or do very much at all!

Dani's two week update:
  • increasing awake/alert times
  • Lots of smiles, which are so adorable. People say newborns don't smile....they're just wrong.  Not only does Dani smile but her face blooms with personality when she does. I've even seen her chuckle to herself.
  • Like her sister, she appears very observant, even at a young age. She watches what we do and responds to voices.
  • Pretty good sleeper for a newborn. She does 2-3 hour stretches, maybe up to 4 hours occasionally. Nighttime feedings/diaper changes/rock and soothe still takes at least an hour though....longer if she decides to make a few more dirty diapers while she's awake.
  • She did seem to get the cold Mr. Turtle and I both caught around the time she was born. It hasn't interfered with her appetite but has made her fussier especially at night. Nasal drops and occasionally the nasal aspirator have helped.
  • Eats very well, has easily learned how to breastfeed. It came back to me too. If you had asked me last month to explain how to breastfeed, I'm not sure I could have done so but when I had to do it I had little difficulty. I had sore nipples for a few days after Dani was cluster feeding but careful attention to her latch has allowed them to heal and so far so good. She does get some pretty major spit up though. It doesnt seem to bother her but  it sure is messy. And I thought I had a ton of laundry before....
  • Dani feels very strong. She can already lift up her head and move it around. It seems to me that AJ did not have the same tone. Who knows, but this one may not be a late crawler/walker like her sister

Me, physically:
  • Post partum bleeding is light, with occasional gushes. I had an episode of bleeding yesterday that freaked me out and had me calling the health hotline....but everything was fine. Apparently it's quite common to have a sudden increase in bleeding a couple of weeks after giving birth.
  • Mostly healed up down below...occasional pain from coughing or sneezing. I didn't know I sneeze with my pelvic floor but there you are
  • My boobs are now in competition with Pluto for small planet status. They can cause me a bit of discomfort especially at night: they flop around at odd angles and can even make my back hurt.
  • Big appetite; not monitoring my weight but my little pooch in front has noticeably shrunk: I can even wear jeans (the bigger sizes I own). That's pretty awesome. It took weeks after AJ's birth for me to want to wear real clothes. 
Mental me:

Mostly I feel great. I had a wonderful birth experience, and since it was low intervention I have had a faster recovery time. We have gone to the zoo and out for breakfast a few times. I love being able to relax and focus on family. The last few weeks, especially at work, I was pushed to my limit time and attention-wise and I am not at all sorry to let that go. I'm enjoying doing domestic tasks like baking (and blogging!) I've kind of gone to the other extreme now where I will procrastinate anything I don't feel like doing: I'll have to find a happy medium in the next few weeks.

Post-partum is also a time for up and down emotions so I guess I shouldn't be surprised I have had some of those too. I have been thinking a lot about how Dani is likely my last pregnancy/child and I have ambivalent feelings about that. When I was pregnant I felt quite OK with it being the last time but now that she's born it feels more complicated. Since I know my pregnancy ended happily it's easier to view the whole process in a positive light and feel nostalgic about it and/or sad that my child bearing days might be at an end.  I feel like I need to add the qualifier....we probably won't have any more children, but I can't say so with finality just yet.

It's been a smooth transition so far to a four person family but still momentous. I'm giving myself some time to process it, and it's both happy and poignant.  We wanted this life change, no doubt about it but our previous life was very good too, and now that there is no going back it's both sweet and sad to remember it. The fact that I spent a long time not knowing if we could expand our family, and actively cultivating an appreciation for our three person family has probably increased these emotions.

As I mentioned previously, AJ looks like such a big girl beside Dani. After holding a tiny newborn all day, I go to give her a hug when she comes back from daycare and she feels huge. (We've left her in her daycare program for now, and will make decisions about her attendance in a few weeks). I still call her Baby but she is growing up and (mostly) embracing her big kid/sister role. And I just realized that AJ will be starting kindergarten in the fall of next year. When I realized this I started looking up schools and programs near us and freaking out as I thought about all the decisions to make: we have an elementary school a five minute walk away but it's a alternative program: would that be right for us? How do we apply? Does our daycare do transportation to kindergarten? Bloody hell, do I even want to go back to work if I have a child in kindergarten. Maybe I'd rather be walking her to school and volunteering in her class rather than being with other people's children. Argh, the school open house was in January. Why didn't we  think to go?

Okay, breathe. We have a year to think about that and there will be another open house.

Anyway. The future is exciting, and as we start to live it I do think I will embrace it. Whatever it looks like.


  1. Glad to hear that you are doing so well adjusting. Going from one to two was not as bad as I thought it would just takes longer to get out the door lol

    I can identify with many of the things you write about...the complicated emotions surrounding doing things for the last feeling like you are done to having a pregnancy end and then feeling like, well maybe no....
    And about the school guy just turned 4 and so he won’t be in Kindergarten until next year (when he’s 5) so that leaves me with what to do this year. And here, preK is not publicly funded, so we have to pay. And it’s almost double my car payment, and I am already home during the week. When my oldest were small the school situation was different and not as costly, and although I hate it the truth is finances play a big role, which sucks. Anyway...I feel ya. But it all will work out like it is supposed to!!

    1. Yes, preschool is private here too. But AJ is in a structured daycare which is like preschool so I don’t think we’ll bother with another preschool. Probably will drop her down to part time if we can since it’s a lot of money. Public school will be less expensive but is way more intimidating to me. Schedules to coordinate! Rigid hours! And it’s education not just play. Also being a teacher myself I’m sorta expecting to be judged as a parent? Big transition for sure.