But today I find myself feeling a bit emotional because it is the last day of the year AJ was born. It will never be the year of her birth again. She will look back on 2014 as the beginning of time, at least of her time. I feel a bit regretful that she wasn't born earlier in the year so we could have lived in the year of her birth longer.
And there is something awesome about realizing that whatever 2014 was.....well, it was. It's in the past tense. Some times it's hard to leave experiences in the past, either because they were awful and they have made me afraid, or because they were wonderful and I don't want to let them go. But now on New Year's Eve, I feel like I'm free to see 2014 in a new light. The story has been told. It can be re-told and re-interpreted, but whatever happened, cannot be changed or undone. And that's somehow liberating.
At the same time I recall Caroline's post about how year ends and beginnings are really an illusion. We decided as humans that we would mark time in years, but maybe there is a better way of marking time.
AJ has come up with some totally different coos and cries today. Her daily growth and development is a reminder that life is happens in motion. And if 2014 was her year, so will be the future years. She's also figuring out how to get her thumb into her mouth and keep it there long enough to suck. Maybe thumb sucking is not a good habit, but she perseveres so much, it's really touching. And she is so sad when it falls out again and she loses it, and cries like the world is such a terrible unjust place. OK that was a bit random.
Happy New Year everyone. Thanks for walking with me this year. It means so much. I hope so much that 2015 brings everyone closer to their dreams, or even brings new dreams into your path.