Sunday 21 September 2014

I think it might be "Oh !@#$" time

That was my thought as I woke up this morning.

Okay, to clarify:

Some people who are expecting babies have showers where there are cupcakes and balloons and it's all cute and they get gifts and stuff. So I'm told. I've never actually been to one.

Some people start "nesting" while pregnant (I think second trimester is considered an appropriate time for that?) and then by third trimester they have cute nurseries and piles of baby stuff and that kind of thing.

Then there's us.

I don't do cute.  I have no idea how to throw a baby shower, no motivation to figure out how and apparently this apathy/avoidance subliminally communicated itself to anyone in my immediate circle of family or friends who might have thrown one, because nobody has. I don't actually care; I think I'd  rather have some kind of welcome event after baby is born. Occasionally, though, the thought has crossed my mind: "How did that (not) happen?" As it has for a few other things we've procrastinated.

Answer: A lot of the time, my notion of preparing for baby is to cuddle my tummy, thinking how miraculous it is when baby kicks, wriggles and is alive.

I've told people humourously when they ask about preparations that well, we're painting the room, we're considering this or that product, and a couple of weeks before baby is due to arrive, we'll have an "Oh !@#$ weekend" and buy everything at once.

I just counted the weekends before full term (38 weeks) and we have like, 2 weekends (not including this one) to go "Oh !@#$" and do things.

Okay, we actually may be not quite as disorganized as I'm making it sound. Lots of good things are happening!

We have started prenatal class #1 (Birth and Babies) and start prenatal class #2 (Birthing From Within) next week. (See the Birth/Parenting resources page for more info.)

We have a bassinet in the house and a glider on order.

The room is painted and looks awesome.

My FIL has been helping us with neglected jobs around the house the past few weeks (so helpful!). Stepmother-in-law is also very excited.

My parents have been overseas on holiday for a few weeks but they will do anything to help us when they are back; I know this.

My MIL is across the continent, but will also do anything she can.

The family is there and ready; I don't want to make it sound like they don't care about us. I think they have been waiting for us to give them cues about what we need. Which is actually very considerate and kind.

Although there are a lot of big items we haven't yet purchased, I think we know what we want in most cases and it shouldn't be too hard to get it.

I have a registry with about 10 smaller things on it, although I don't know yet what I will do with it exactly.

I booked my last day of work (October 10th).

But. I think my biggest accomplishment has been my attitude. Despite this being "Oh !@#$" time, I actually feel very good about baby and the birth. I am hopeful that we can have as normal and natural a birth as possible, which is important to me because of the anxiety/fear/dread that accompanied the beginning of this pregnancy. A calm, hopeful attitude is much more important than a fully decorated nursery or a baby shower.

I've also put in a call to a photographer to schedule a maternity photo shoot. I waffled on this for a long time. How important is it, do we want the expense, etc. But all along I've had the thought that this could be my only pregnancy, and it would be nice to have some professional photos as memories. I've pushed that thought away a lot of the time because the priority has always been, baby gets here healthy and well.  Anything else felt like an indulgence. Finally I thought, might as well do it (last minute of course). If things don't work out with the studio, I'll see if my brother, who is a talented amateur photographer and took our wedding photographs, can do something with us.

Finally, it's a beautiful fall day (autumn comes early in this climate) and the trees have started turning colour in earnest the past couple of days. Fall colours don't last long so we will make some time to go for a walk.

35+ weeks and autumn colours.

Blessings to all.


  1. I can't believe you're 38 weeks already, awesome job! I think that I'll be more like you in my baby growing. I never had a wedding shower, and while I once dreamed of having a baby shower, it seems so superfluous to actually successfully getting and staying pregnant. I love your attitude. Enjoy these next two weeks, because oh $*@&, your about to have a baby. Yay!

    1. Not 38 weeks yet - going on 36! but when you consider that baby could come as early as 37 or 38 weeks, not much time left! thanks for the nice comment xoxo I agree, there is so much that is superfluous - to weddings and babies. Although we do need that carseat lol.

  2. Honestly though, you won't need all that much :)
    We had Sawyer at 34+4 without ANY warning signs that he might be early. We did a hike 2 days before he was born (I hiked all throughout his pregnancy with the approval of my OBGYN). So then I had that "OH #!$" feeling, especially since I spent every day, in the NICU until he came home at 35+6. So the last details were not done but it didn't matter one bit. And even if you realize you need something you don't have, it's quick and easy to run to a store and get it.
    Enjoy your photo shoot!

    1. Ha, thanks for the perspective. Yes, as long as baby is healthy and cared for, things will be alright. I know this. It's also good to hear from someone else who didn't have everything perfectly on time - that's what I love about the readers of this blog - you all get it :-) It must have been a shock to have your son come early but as you say, it all turned out fine.

  3. Wow, almost there! Congrats! It actually sounds like you are very prepared to me. And honestly the snuggling your belly and thinking about how much you already love your baby is the best kind of preparation in my opinion :)

    With the final thank you cards, looming from my baby shower I was just telling my husband today that I'm not sure the stress and social pressure that goes with a shower is worth it (at least for and anxiety ridden introvert such as myself). I could not be more grateful for the generosity of our family and friends, but it was a lot of stress for me to attend the shower, keep track of all the gifts, and write the thank you cards after. I know that probably sounds lame, but for me things like writing thank you cards are difficult. I agonize over what to say, scratch through, crumple the card, start over. Rinse and repeat this fifty times and it's exhausting. And the day of the shower itself I was a sweaty, emotional mess.

    Anyway, that's all to say I don't think you missed out on anything! You have a loving, supportive family and your baby will be coming into a loving, happy home with wonderful parents. Doesn't get better than that! :) Thinking of you and hoping you get to savor these last few weeks of the pregnancy.

    1. Thank you Annie :-) That does make me feel better! Sometimes I feel that I "should" be doing this or that, but when I step back and think about what's really important, I know that it doesn't matter in the long run. Thanks for the perspective! and I really love reading your blog too about all the feelings and changes.

  4. Oh I think the maternity photo shoot will be worth every single penny. That's just my personal opinion but I would really like this journey to be captured in photographs. You will be ready for your little one! It's so close now. It's getting so exciting!

    1. Thank you! Yes, I think it is important to treasure the moments. And I've looked forward to this time for a long time - fall colours, blue skies mean that baby is almost here.

  5. I think cuddling your big belly totally counts ;)
    We just got the car seat yesterday because we thought we should optimize the time between my renewed driver's license finally arriving, and me possibly getting too big, let alone worry about other things. And the stroller, because we bought it in the same store. And we ordered the crib because I want the mattress to "breathe" for at least a few days before actually putting Strawberry Baby to sleep on it. In summary, I should just write a blog post about it ;) But seriously, other than perhaps the car seat you're doing perfectly fine. And it's so amazing that you are so close now! Enjoy the indulgence :)

    1. yay! Yes, it helps sometimes to take a practical point of view and say "It totally makes objective sense to do X now." As for the car seat, that's Mr. Turtle's job so he has to get on it LOL. I picked pretty much everything else. :-p

  6. I haven't bought or planned a thing, and people due after me are decorating and buying furniture. I think I'm going to follow in your OH $#!+ footsteps ;)

    Luckily babies don't need much! As long as we have a car seat, we can figure out the rest.

    1. I think some of my anxiety at least came from reading my BabyCenter forum (I don't post much, but find it amusing to read what others are talking about, sometimes). All the people who post there seem to have showers, decorating nurseries, the works. Yes, have car seat, figure out the rest. Although there is a bus that goes by the hospital....I kid, I kid. We'll buy the car seat.

  7. You were so kind to leave a link for me last week! And goodness, you look amazing!

    I think we all nest differently...some of us nest in spirit, some in paint. When your heart has been hurt, I think you tend to nest in spirit.


    1. What a beautiful thought Justine! thank you!