Friday 21 February 2014

Bleed.

Today at about 1:15pm, I went to the washroom at work, and saw a bright red streak on my pantyliner. When I dabbed with the TP, there was more.

I wanted to cry. I had no tears. So I screamed instead.

Screamed for about 30 minutes while bright blood dripped out of me. Enough to leave coin-sized dollops on  the TP. Sometimes it would come close to stopping, and then start again. Around 1:45, it stopped and I limped back to my classroom (students were gone home). I found my co-teacher and the tears.

I called Mr. Turtle, and then the Health information line.  The nurse calmed me a little, and said to see a doctor within 72 hours. So, Mr. Turtle and I went to the Urgent Care centre.

The examining doctor said the bleeding was definitely more than spotting, but was not considered heavy bleeding. I have not had any more bright red bleeding for a few hours. Some more blood came out when she did the exam, but it was brown. No clots, no cramps or pain. Well, no physical pain.

The doctor said that 25% of women have bleeding in first trimester. 50% of them go on to miscarry. She could not say which 50% I might be in.

They drew blood for a beta and blood typing.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow. The requisition says "Possible Ectopic and Threatened Abortion."

I am trying to stay calm.  I know there are so many varieties of utter misery I could be experiencing right now. I'm trying not to look it in the face.

Any prayers. Or hope, Or anything. Or virtual kleenex for ugly cry.

8 comments:

  1. Oh girl! Keep believing!!!! I am for you!! Keep us updated

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  2. Sending hugs and love and strength and calm. I have read this before and seen it all turn out okay so please keep believing it can be okay. Wish I was there to hold your hand through this terror. Breathe, hon. Just keep breathing.

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  3. Sending you lots of prayers... and here is a glimmer of hope.

    My best friend has been in what certainly looks like the start of a miscarriage 6 times... 3 of which ended up resolving, beautifully, miraculously, into three of the most incredible children I have ever met (I teach.. I know a lot of kids.. these 3 are wow amazing). so that 50% number, well that is about right for her. We've all done cycles with way less chances than 50%.

    In my friend's case, it wasn't some light spotting. It was significant bleeding that convinced her and everyone on the case that it was hopeless -- except the baby I guess.

    So I hold my breath and really hope you are in the right 50%. It isn't one in a million...Its a good chance. 50% is a good chance. And you might not know any time soon (my friend bleed once for days and days and then it stopped and all was well)... so don't assume the worse if it comes back.

    All the best. Adi said it right. We are holding you hand through this moment of terror. Breath breath breath.

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  4. Oh friend, I am sorry you are experiencing this scary situation. I know so many woman who have had episodes of bleeding throughout pregnancy and gone on to have healthy babies. I am hoping like crazy that you will be added to their numbers. Hang in there, we are all thinking of you. Sending love and support and holding your hand across the miles. xo

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  5. I have lots of hope! I bled frequently from 5 weeks to 11 weeks. It was red. It gushed. I went in for ultrasounds four times or so. Every time the babies were fine. I had a sub chorionic hemmorhage. I was in pelvic rest. Around 12 weeks it stopped and I am now 24 weeks! It was so so scary. Every time. I couldn't imagine how the babies were ok when I was bleeding so much. But they were! I wouldn't wish bleeding on anyone but I hope you have an SCH too! They may be able to see it in your ultrasound. Thinking of you! Hugs

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  6. I have no personal experience to offer but I can't even tell you the number of blogs I've read where the blogger has had some kind of bleeding that freaked them out very early on that ended up being totally OK. I know it doesn't make the stress and worry any better right now; nothing will until you get the all-clear from your doctor. Just know I'm thinking of you and hoping the very best.

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  7. This is so scary, and I'm so sorry you had to go through it, especially while at work. I will say a prayer that all will be well with baby Turtle. As others have said, I've heard many stories of women with early first trimester bleeding who went on to have healthy pregnancies. Thinking of you, friend.

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  8. That reminds me of the time I bled during my first trimester. I understand that feeling... no words can describe how terrifying it is. It happened to me in the middle of the night - I remember desperately wishing I was in a nightmare. Having the deal with that during work must be so hard.

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