tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post7800199343167095849..comments2024-02-11T23:03:48.418-08:00Comments on torthúil: Blurb Update; or, Why Words Mattertorthúilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-69011289336699902212013-09-26T18:41:31.402-07:002013-09-26T18:41:31.402-07:00Thanks Anne! :-) I needed some inspiration for my ...Thanks Anne! :-) I needed some inspiration for my next post! I am so glad you take the time to read.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-50246584911896223802013-09-26T18:30:28.128-07:002013-09-26T18:30:28.128-07:00Thanks Annie. I struggle with the word "infer...Thanks Annie. I struggle with the word "infertile" too, because it sounds like a dead-end, and I like to think it terms of roads less traveled, or even rocky, dangerous roads, but not dead ends :-) Anything (almost) but that. I didn't want the word "infertile" in my blog title because I didn't want it staring me in the face like a curse every time I can to write here. But like you I also feel the need to name the struggle. I think that's part of the reason I like the acronyms - IF, IFfers. :-) It feels like a private (but shared) language where we can own the terms.<br /><br />I really like the name of your blog "sweetest in the gale." And I did google it to find the poem it was from. Very evocative and appropriate.<br />torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-32142039710784370102013-09-26T13:59:51.953-07:002013-09-26T13:59:51.953-07:00I nominated you for the Liebster award! Don't ...I nominated you for the Liebster award! Don't feel pressured to participate, but I wanted to let you know :)Adihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02489423723982017482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-8521367640605535012013-09-25T12:54:21.371-07:002013-09-25T12:54:21.371-07:00This is a thought-provoking post. I, too, think a ...This is a thought-provoking post. I, too, think a good deal about the power of words and the importance of articulating thoughts and feelings. From my years in therapy for depression, I learned that telling the story of a trauma is a huge part of how you heal from it. <br /><br />Oh, and I love that you shared the meaning of torthuil! I have wondered how/why you chose that name, and I think it suits you perfectly as it's musical and unique :)<br /><br />In answer to your last question, the word "infertility" itself is one that is hard for me to use. I know it sounds obvious, but just calling myself infertile for the first time was so hard. Some people like to use more gentle terms, like "sub-fertile," but for me, it's been important to give this struggle a name because that has allowed me to find a community of support. Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01507531522613335860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-9715046397681093592013-09-22T17:58:17.031-07:002013-09-22T17:58:17.031-07:00Absolutely - blogosphere at its best is a consciou...Absolutely - blogosphere at its best is a consciousness-raiser!torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-70960648948691013882013-09-22T17:12:49.504-07:002013-09-22T17:12:49.504-07:00I've used the battle metaphor myself...I chose...I've used the battle metaphor myself...I chose to think of it as more a fight against infertility than my body, though. I liked the idea of strength that comes from thinking of oneself as a warrior. But I get that it's not for everyone. That's what I love about the blogosphere...someone's always thinking of a new way to say something that may not be what I'd say, but it still rings true nonetheless.Aramishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275274008426941898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-19259064366898012732013-09-22T14:51:14.604-07:002013-09-22T14:51:14.604-07:00thank you! the blogosphere is a great place to enj...thank you! the blogosphere is a great place to enjoy lots of different writing styles and points of view. I really like the scientific focus of your posts.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-66530294434472942832013-09-22T14:22:29.814-07:002013-09-22T14:22:29.814-07:00I love this! Even though I'm not as lyrical or...I love this! Even though I'm not as lyrical or deliberate in my word choice as a writer, I definitely appreciate it as a reader!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-28251114449667245482013-09-22T09:27:23.843-07:002013-09-22T09:27:23.843-07:00Thank you for reading Sadie! I moseyed on over to ...Thank you for reading Sadie! I moseyed on over to your blog which I found very thoughtful. I never thought of the ALI blogosphere as defining success and happiness by one outcome, but I suppose that is often true, although (I think) we are all aware of the other outcomes and there are many bloggers who have found "success" or at least a way forward, that is not birth. I think it is so awesome that you can read many different perspectives in the community, although I tend to gravitate somewhat to experiences similar to my own.<br /><br />There are so many points on this journey where one can feel like one is "failing." Reproductive organs fail; procedures that could or should have worked fail; people look at you like you are a failure because you are not a parent (or you imagine they are looking at you like that). Failure to hope enough, failure to be smarter/faster/stronger blah blah blah. But life is never that simple, and when I think of how I found a "way forward" during other challenging parts of my life, it was never through narrowly defining what success meant, but rather through opening up to complexity and the many paths life offered. torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-19672767163449770002013-09-22T08:34:39.186-07:002013-09-22T08:34:39.186-07:00I'm new to your blog (which I found through Gy...I'm new to your blog (which I found through Gypsy Mama), and this was a great place to start. I love this post! So much of what you've written resonates with me, and I agree that words matter and if used thoughtlessly, can constrict us in ways we aren't even aware of. Your comments about transcending vs battling are right on. I think I have a particular issue with those analogies, because it feels like if you walk away from the ttc journey as an infertile, and maybe *don't* get to be parents as you hoped to be, that implies some kind of 'loss' or failing. Reminding ourselves not to be defined by IF/pregnancy loss is so important, but this community can be a double edged sword, in that it's often so extremely focused on a singular outcome as a measure of 'success'/happiness.<br /><br />Thanks for provoking some new thoughts and helping me to articulate stuff that's been bouncing around in my head!<br />Sadiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14325203869605294768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-88241527787398045212013-09-22T08:32:28.334-07:002013-09-22T08:32:28.334-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Sadiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14325203869605294768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-71072424230244971442013-09-22T08:28:03.169-07:002013-09-22T08:28:03.169-07:00Thanks Anne (sends virtual hugs). Blog names can b...Thanks Anne (sends virtual hugs). Blog names can be tough. It's hard to find one that can feel relevant through different parts of the journey. I like yours :-)torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-9107001714338706122013-09-22T08:25:05.141-07:002013-09-22T08:25:05.141-07:00Haha, I know what you mean! And I think it's i...Haha, I know what you mean! And I think it's important to do those occasional check-ins and ask: "What message am I sending out there to others, and to myself'torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-16245834466772366702013-09-22T08:24:03.980-07:002013-09-22T08:24:03.980-07:00Love how you put it Gypsy Mama! "I never want...Love how you put it Gypsy Mama! "I never wanted to be defined by our diagnosis, or have our family defined by the fact it won't be traditional." I do want to be "in a good place." Something I've learned over the past few months is that I need to actively work on being in that good place. Using the right words for me/us are part of that.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-61732227662745561802013-09-22T08:09:08.255-07:002013-09-22T08:09:08.255-07:00I'm definitely a word nerd. I spent an entire ...I'm definitely a word nerd. I spent an entire day choosing my blog's name, wanting it to be something that conveyed my current fixation with an emptiness, as well as be translatable to motherhood when I surely succeeded. I was pretty pleased with it, also, because it's not as google-able as some things, and I only wanted people to find it if they knew what they were looking for. <br /><br />I think your new description shows your positivity, perseverance, and above all your wonderful personality (how's that for accidental alliteration!). So I think it's a definitely success :)Adihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02489423723982017482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-29159580359462845882013-09-22T07:27:51.635-07:002013-09-22T07:27:51.635-07:00What a great post! It sounds like you are in a rea...What a great post! It sounds like you are in a really good place, and I am happy to hear that. I never wanted to be defined by our diagnois, or have our family defined by the fact that it won't be traditional. Gypsy Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026496787029080243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-3062899555726134122013-09-22T04:47:20.406-07:002013-09-22T04:47:20.406-07:00Absolutely agree. Some words mean so much to me wh...Absolutely agree. Some words mean so much to me while other words actually make me stop reading things because it turns me off. Glad to see you changed up some words to help define yourself and your journey just the way you want it to be. I completely agree about the war/sports metaphors! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03257674420881990140noreply@blogger.com