tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post7547898850937358928..comments2024-02-11T23:03:48.418-08:00Comments on torthúil: Charting a Coursetorthúilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-61423422774856807652013-08-11T12:00:25.537-07:002013-08-11T12:00:25.537-07:00Thanks, yes a plan is so important. Although gh yo...Thanks, yes a plan is so important. Although gh you can't get too attached to any plan. We didn't discuss embryo adoption much but Dr. Cotter said that yes the clinic does do that. I'm not sure how far reaching the program is. One of the options on the IVF contract is donating unused embryos to other couples so maybe it is just something that happens within the clinic's clientele. I'll let you know if I find out more.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-32625818981395496862013-08-11T06:59:28.681-07:002013-08-11T06:59:28.681-07:00Having a plan is so important. We didn't real...Having a plan is so important. We didn't really set out with one (other than no more than 3 IVFs because we don't want to go bankrupt and drag this out forever) but we kind of developed one along the way. It's also super important to be talking about Plan B, C, D early so that you know you're on the same page with your partner when/if things fail. I've also looked briefly into donor embryos in Canada, and it seems like something that we don't really do here. But I like the idea in theory even more than donor egg, since you're cutting out yet one more step (fertilization) where things could go wrong. Sure, there's no genetic link to either parent, but you still get to experience pregnancy and early infanthood, unlike most regular adoptions. Let me know if you find out more, as it again seems like something where you'd have to go to the US. Canada is so far behind on this stuff, and our laws don't help.Aramishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275274008426941898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-74426466433023943212013-08-10T21:47:54.907-07:002013-08-10T21:47:54.907-07:00Very true Ariel. We don't get to pick our chal...Very true Ariel. We don't get to pick our challenges, only how to respond to them. I usually try to avoid "what if" scenarios because really, nobody knows what would have really happened in a different scenario. For example, I am sometimes inclined to regret that mr turtle and I put off ttc until a year after marriage. Maybe if we'd known earlier we would have been "ahead" in dealing with IF, I would have more eggs left, blah blah. But then I think: maybe it is far better that we had that year to strengthen our marriage and not have to deal with this stress right away. Maybe it is far better that we decided to start ttc when we felt ready as a family, not due to stress or pressure. Who knows? <br /><br />Thank you for reading and for your insights.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-24905620643604804982013-08-10T06:58:14.516-07:002013-08-10T06:58:14.516-07:00Happy to hear that you and your partner are commun...Happy to hear that you and your partner are communicating well, planning for different scenarios and on the same page regarding fertility treatment. It's true that infertility can be very stressful for a marriage, but it is also common for marriages to be strained by kids. Infertility alone won't break a marriage. I agree with what the lady said in the podcast that if there are already problems with the relationship, having a baby won't make all the problems go away. <br /><br />And I think what your doctor said makes a lot of sense. I agree with her about the herbal remedies.Arielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11406223623869440728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-62813747437902465162013-08-09T15:50:34.412-07:002013-08-09T15:50:34.412-07:00Thanks! Yeah, it's a balance between having so...Thanks! Yeah, it's a balance between having some idea where you're going but also being able to take things one at a time. Different challenges need a different kind of energy, for sure. Canada does seem to have more restrictions, many are recent. There are also laws around how many embryos are put back during IVF.<br /><br />I really want these results; I might be making calls if no hear back by next week!torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-31078012737287995402013-08-09T15:32:24.212-07:002013-08-09T15:32:24.212-07:00It sounds like in Canada there are a lot of restri...It sounds like in Canada there are a lot of restrictions of what you can and cannot do. It's good to have a tentative plan. One thing I learned from my first IVF cycle is that anything could happen so I am taking it one day at a time and one cycle at a time. So you just try and reassess. I didn't know about Mel's book. It sounds interesting and I'll look into it. Sorry for all the waiting you have to do. Isn't it true that we're always told not to wait b/c of our DOR but there are always some tests to run and results to wait for. I hope you get the results soon!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-60599565367328689862013-08-09T13:27:07.157-07:002013-08-09T13:27:07.157-07:00What a great quote about love! Thank you for shari...What a great quote about love! Thank you for sharing. I agree. That podcast is so thought provoking; it's well worth the hour of listening. Infertility is a life crisis and I think it's important to think carefully about what sort of person/family you are going to be during the crisis and what kind of person/family you want to be at the end of it, wherever that is. Thank you again for the support and the thoughtful comment.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-47241073827157173172013-08-09T13:04:59.344-07:002013-08-09T13:04:59.344-07:00So glad you had a good doctor visit! And that'...So glad you had a good doctor visit! And that's great that you've come up with a game plan. Thanks so much for sharing the link to the podcast on infertility and divorce. I was actually just talking to L the other day about how I feel like so many couples we know probably would not still be together if they hadn't been able to have children. <br /><br />I mean, how often do you hear about people "staying together for the kids"? I really do think the ability to have babies easily without much planning, or even "by accident," acts as a kind of glue to hold people together when they would otherwise have parted ways had the circumstances been different. As infertiles, we don't have that "glue," the thing that keeps us humming along on a typical life path. We are forced to stop and really examine our relationship with our spouse, to put our love to the test. As CGD said in the podcast, infertility acts as a "magnifying glass" that makes the tiny hairline fractures that exist in any relationship appear huge and sometimes insurmountable.<br /><br />It's a scary thing to be on such a bumpy ride, but I do believe in the end it's a good thing to have to really examine our priorities. I was watching Inventing the Abbotts the other day, which I know is a corny movie, but there was a line that stood out to me. One of the characters said, "In this life, there are some people who you love if all the circumstances are right. And then there are others who you love no matter what. I've always thought that the 'no matter what' kind of love is the best kind." Infertility makes us really test whether or not we have the "no matter what" kind of love. <br />Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01507531522613335860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-28366126995201152742013-08-09T12:18:29.976-07:002013-08-09T12:18:29.976-07:00Will do, thanks! Yeah, sometimes I wonder how I&#...Will do, thanks! Yeah, sometimes I wonder how I'll actually cope with a real pregnancy or baby because all the emotional and intellectual energy and time that I could spend on preparing for parenthood is going into dealing with IF. Sometimes I do read articles on parenting just for the heck of it, but I feel like I'm reading about Martians or something. Although I do like to read the parenting stories of infertiles. It's easier to relate to.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-50849568458897285842013-08-09T12:11:57.434-07:002013-08-09T12:11:57.434-07:00Thanks for the note and the bridge back to your bl...Thanks for the note and the bridge back to your blog. Looks like we have a few things in common. I am looking forward to following your story. Yes, with these kind of diagnoses it is one hurdle at a time. Maybe that's not a bad thing; sometimes it helps to have emotional distance, and that's somewhat easier when talking eggs and sperm than when talking babies.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-12085369776632837642013-08-09T12:07:14.220-07:002013-08-09T12:07:14.220-07:00Thanks. I really appreciate that you read the blog...Thanks. I really appreciate that you read the blog. Sadly it's impossible to ignore the fact that we may not get the best case scenario but I try to remember that there always is a way forward somewhere. Remembering that helps me to stay calm and grounded, mostly, and take things one step at a time.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-48878805914277815122013-08-09T12:03:30.941-07:002013-08-09T12:03:30.941-07:00Yes, a plan makes me feel a little less helpless, ...Yes, a plan makes me feel a little less helpless, and layers of plans feel like a bit of emotional armour. Better to do the thinking before faced with a crisis, as much as possible. But also trying to remember the happy stories, like yours, so we have the strength to keep going.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-21512501399691127822013-08-09T12:00:07.968-07:002013-08-09T12:00:07.968-07:00Yes, everyone comes at these issues from their own...Yes, everyone comes at these issues from their own perspective. We just want to get the best advice we can. I imagine some "herbal remedies" don't exactly classify as drugs and would be safe, but I don't know where the line is. So most likely we'll follow Dr. Cotter's advice and play it safe.<br />Thanks for the good wishes; I hope I gt to share more good news soon.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-39821354616513011672013-08-09T11:55:31.907-07:002013-08-09T11:55:31.907-07:00Thanks! Hoping for the best and grateful for the s...Thanks! Hoping for the best and grateful for the support.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-57646997603284079042013-08-09T09:23:22.578-07:002013-08-09T09:23:22.578-07:00sounds like you guys are doing a great job communi...sounds like you guys are doing a great job communicating and ranking your priorities. we did the same after my POF diagnosis. We tried injections for one cycle because we wanted to knowthat we had tried everything. I am glad we tried it because I live without regret. <br /><br />I also agree with the feeling that it i hard to connect what we are doing and going trhough with teh goal of a baby - I think about pregnancy all teh time but rarely remember that that means we would get a BABY!!!<br /><br />Keep us updated on your plan and keep up the awesome communication! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-24587211680870348722013-08-09T07:48:58.704-07:002013-08-09T07:48:58.704-07:00That's interesting what your Dr. said about DS...That's interesting what your Dr. said about DS + IUI. Being DOR/POF + MFI, it's something that I've considered, but not brought up with my Dr. So it's good to know that it's not really an option. And I like what you said about the baby getting farther and farther away. It's all about enough eggs and enough sperm; that's hard enough for us that it's hard to see past it. Wishing you all the best!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-81192872748256287382013-08-09T07:30:24.461-07:002013-08-09T07:30:24.461-07:00Love this post! Every part of it. I love a plan an...Love this post! Every part of it. I love a plan and it sounds like you have realistic plans in place and understand that they may unravel. Im rooting for you! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03257674420881990140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-44288917145371206232013-08-09T07:03:01.139-07:002013-08-09T07:03:01.139-07:00How great dies it feel to have a plan ...even if t...How great dies it feel to have a plan ...even if that plan is currently in flux. I'm so glad your doctor seems hopeful. That has always made me feel better about the whole thing. Hoping for some clear-cut direction soon. Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00671922064140460790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-38234942006208042152013-08-09T06:22:50.420-07:002013-08-09T06:22:50.420-07:00Wow! How great that you have a path. It sounds lik...Wow! How great that you have a path. It sounds like you got a lot of information and answers from your Dr. A lot of Doctors seem to be coming around to the idea of accupuncture. I used to work in a health store, so I am biased, but I love the idea of taking natural remedies to ensure the body is as healthy as possible. I love to take green smoothies and I did a cleanse after I was done with IVF. <br /><br />I am wishing the absolute best for you! Gypsy Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026496787029080243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-21306225824531209572013-08-09T05:17:14.564-07:002013-08-09T05:17:14.564-07:00So many people are arrogant about divorce (It coul...So many people are arrogant about divorce (It could never happen to me!) so they don't bother trying to prevent it. I'm glad you're doing what it takes to protect and preserve your marriage. <br /><br />These are all sound plans and I have hope for you. Good luck with the test results!Adihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02489423723982017482noreply@blogger.com