tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post4453632080675910868..comments2024-02-11T23:03:48.418-08:00Comments on torthúil: Intersecting Roadstorthúilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-90172068113976362042015-09-23T17:10:18.829-07:002015-09-23T17:10:18.829-07:00Ha, me to, I love to order and de-clutter. AJ tran...Ha, me to, I love to order and de-clutter. AJ transitioned to solids only during the day because I knew pumping wasn't going to happen. So it was either formula or food, and she has no use for formula or even for bottles (and at her age it would be silly to push it, even if I wanted to.) Work still exhausting, but life motors along - I suppose one day I'll wake up and it will all feel normal. Not there quite yet....torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-66363208705499265572015-09-23T17:08:14.984-07:002015-09-23T17:08:14.984-07:00Thanks for your perspective. I would hate for AJ t...Thanks for your perspective. I would hate for AJ to think she isn't enough. Parents need to be so careful of their tone when talking about this with a child!torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-56509795440023705772015-09-22T16:06:33.480-07:002015-09-22T16:06:33.480-07:00I love how your brain came up with this metaphor. ...I love how your brain came up with this metaphor. I'm always trying to organize things to declutter and bring order. So many things to adjust to in life right now. It's wonderful how smoothly the eating solids during the day and then nursing when home is going with AJ. I wouldn't have thought to even try that. I'm finding pumping away from home to be more more of a hassle than anticipated since it must be somewhere private, unlike nursing which I can/will do anywhere. I agree the emotional adjustment at a new job is exhausting, people not knowing you yet and figuring out your role. Hopefully it will all fall into place soon. Marcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00622377397195134361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-10984659599200718632015-09-20T22:23:20.824-07:002015-09-20T22:23:20.824-07:00For what it's worth, my mother shared with me ...For what it's worth, my mother shared with me that she probably experienced secondary infertility. She was one of those one hit wonders to conceive me, so they thought it would happen quickly the second time. Neither wanted to admit the frustration, so by the time I was 3 or 4 they decided they would "be happy with what they had". While I was growing up, they often made comments like "we went for quality, not quantity" or "we chose to specalize..." As an adult, they both expressed to me that they wished they had a second child, which angered me as an adult (did they think they could do better? was I not enough?) but now I can appreciate their frustration that it wasn't really their choice. jAllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-91571114151181278002015-09-20T20:44:41.017-07:002015-09-20T20:44:41.017-07:00Thank you. :-) Yes, it is always important to reme...Thank you. :-) Yes, it is always important to remember that when it comes to defining/creating your family, there is no such thing as one size fits all / one solution for everyone. And both my post and your comment get at the truth that, even within one family, the best/most tolerable course of action changes depending on circumstances and perceptions. As you say, "what seemed reasonable always changed with the new information we were given and how we felt about it." Of course in our case AJ completely changes the pictures. I would like at least one more child, in theory, but I also feel that my first responsibility is to her. Whether it's time, money, the health and emotional stability of her parents as individuals and as a couple - she has dibs on all that. We're not as free to gamble with it as we once were. :-) Thank you again for the thoughtful comment.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-66728185584050706342015-09-20T08:47:24.751-07:002015-09-20T08:47:24.751-07:00I love this post, so so much. The metaphor is perf...I love this post, so so much. The metaphor is perfect... how crazy that that one intersection leads to all of those pieces of you. You have been through so many transitions, so many changes in the past year or so. I can understand missing the familiarity of people who "get" you without explanation, and having complicated feelings about going down the fertility treatment road again. I liked how you said "well, it is all relative what is extreme and what is not." Everything is dependent on perspective, on where you are now versus where you were then, on what you have time and energy for... and it's so malleable. I never thought I would go to the "extremes" I did and come out empty-handed, but what seemed reasonable always changed with the new information we were given and how we felt about it. I wish you so much peace as you navigate these intersections, and look forward and backward all at once. Beautiful post. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-41153925710683548352015-09-18T19:50:51.945-07:002015-09-18T19:50:51.945-07:00haha, glad I could help put Jate to sleep. Sometim...haha, glad I could help put Jate to sleep. Sometimes I think it would be better just to decide that one is enough (and from many points of view she is; love is uncountable). I wonder if it would be healthier just to live in gratitude for what we have and not ask for more. But I dunno, we always talked about more than one child so we're not ready to give up on that vision. It's all subjective and we create our own goals and challenges. I think everybody has "what ifs." With fertility challenges it has a different....flavour.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-7656470619736025182015-09-17T22:51:38.217-07:002015-09-17T22:51:38.217-07:00Such a wonderful post. BTW my baby fell asleep in ...Such a wonderful post. BTW my baby fell asleep in my arms as I was reading. What a great way to tie in so many fascets of your life. I give people so much credit for attempting baby #2. As we decided only to have 1, it's nice to feel that that part of my life is over. I also know I wouldn't want to go through the stress of another 2WW and I'm at peace with it. Yet it's also hard not to think about my embryos and wonder "what if..."jAllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-6745699850609802412015-09-17T20:54:04.738-07:002015-09-17T20:54:04.738-07:00Thank you. We'll ride out the feelings togethe...Thank you. We'll ride out the feelings together. Hugs back!torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-34320942979593716842015-09-17T20:53:05.628-07:002015-09-17T20:53:05.628-07:00Thanks. I know, I don't like to think too much...Thanks. I know, I don't like to think too much about getting pregnant either, or rather, think about the fact that it might be a long draining ordeal. There's so many nicer things in life that I would rather indulge in. I too hope there's something in the legend that the second pregnancy is easier to achieve. Of course I'm quite aware that the opposite is often true. And my cycles have been erratic and very short. Sigh. But perhaps there will be one good one yet.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-52924568998440495032015-09-17T20:48:32.057-07:002015-09-17T20:48:32.057-07:00Oh, I know. It was SO AWESOME to not have to think...Oh, I know. It was SO AWESOME to not have to think about TTC for a while. Not that I ever exactly stopped thinking about it; the possibility of a second child has been on my mind since about the time I stopped being terrified constantly about losing my first pregnancy. :-) But still, as an expecting/brand new mother I couldn't actually DO anything to conceive, so I had an excuse to not care. Many people find the early months of parenting challenging for all kinds of good reasons, but for me the new baby haze was a great mental break. :-) Like a holiday from my own mind. :-) Of course I love my life now with AJ and all my family. But slowly all the other complex questions creep it, and become more urgent. I wish you the best with your decision making. Try not to let it taint the present....we've waited a long time for the joy that's ours today.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-83999722879262573522015-09-17T20:40:56.407-07:002015-09-17T20:40:56.407-07:00Thanks for commenting :-) It's an interesting ...Thanks for commenting :-) It's an interesting life, isn't it? Are you teaching part time then? I considered if that would work for me, but opted not to go that route for various reasons. I'm sure there are other jobs like this too, but teaching can really take over one's life. Partly because a big time commitment is expected, partly because of the emotional nature of the work. Like you say finding balance is a moving target. I have succeeded so far (I wouldn't have lasted ten years in the profession if not). But now there are new challenges. Glad we found some common ground.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-51024811234038847902015-09-17T10:20:46.746-07:002015-09-17T10:20:46.746-07:00You're not alone, friend. Although I can defin...You're not alone, friend. Although I can definitely relate to that feeling. Hugs!Gypsy Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026496787029080243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-84590862988414112082015-09-17T08:46:40.868-07:002015-09-17T08:46:40.868-07:00I can completely understand your feelings toward t...I can completely understand your feelings toward the fertility clinic. You have no idea what, if anything, helped you conceive, and so it's not a matter of redoing all that stressful stuff, it's a question as to whether anything will work when it didn't seem to. I'm hoping your body has learned what it needed to, and that it's ready to try again.<br /><br />To be honest I'm kind of hoping we get pregnant by accident so I don't have to think about it. I know, ridiculous. Not gonna happen. Sigh. Adihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02489423723982017482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-27527140128837496972015-09-17T08:46:05.372-07:002015-09-17T08:46:05.372-07:00When I was pregnant with A, one of the nice things...When I was pregnant with A, one of the nice things about it (besides the obvious) was that I could stop thinking about conceiving for that time. Now that he's here, it's in the back of my mind that in the coming months I'm going to have to get back on the IVF train if we want to have a second. It's exhausting just to think about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-30875115216916190512015-09-16T21:59:02.126-07:002015-09-16T21:59:02.126-07:00I just wanted to pop over and say that I can relat...I just wanted to pop over and say that I can relate to so much of this post. As a parent and teacher I'm having such a hard time adjusting to the new school year. This is not my first year back at work since having kids, but every year my schedule changes drastically (of my own request, to accommodate our strange family-provided child care needs) and every year I find it really hard to figure out what balance looks like with whatever schedule I have. This year is REALLY different for me because for the first time since I started working I'm home in the morning with my kids, and I feel like I have no breathing room on either end of my teaching day. It's hard. I'm stressed. I'm not sure how to make it sustainable. <br /><br />Anyway, I just wanted to say that I so appreciate reading another teacher's perspective and hearing about how you are making it work for you. Thanks for putting this out there.Noemihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12792217151905218101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-296773353971830842015-09-16T18:37:32.131-07:002015-09-16T18:37:32.131-07:00Thanks for the kind and positive thoughts. You mak...Thanks for the kind and positive thoughts. You make me smile!torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-32561990237041632012015-09-16T15:19:52.996-07:002015-09-16T15:19:52.996-07:00I'm glad AJ is adjusting so well to daycare, a...I'm glad AJ is adjusting so well to daycare, and though it is hard for you and Mr. Turtle, it will probably get easier as it becomes the norm (I imagine). <br /><br />I have always been a bit jealous of the mums at work that leave early to get the kids from daycare, but I have often found it hard to get away from work on time before Bubs so I imagine in the future it will be...interesting. I can't really imagine being a working parent yet- it must take a bit of adjusting! <br /><br />Hopefully you will get another "get out of jail free" card! It did happen once and lightening can strike twice! <br /><br />I love home projects and how great the place looks after- hoping you stay sane and happy!<br /><br />Whatever way you go at the intersection, you won't be alone. AJ and Mr Turtle and all of us will be there with you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11125140828976265146noreply@blogger.com