tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post2463938688597172602..comments2024-02-11T23:03:48.418-08:00Comments on torthúil: Generationstorthúilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-38292640944957812872017-01-05T14:44:12.661-08:002017-01-05T14:44:12.661-08:00"The vision of what "Should be" mig..."The vision of what "Should be" might get us started on the journey, but it's not where it ends." <br /><br />Beautiful. Perfect.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-27952501581337719632016-12-29T14:41:13.216-08:002016-12-29T14:41:13.216-08:00Yes, it does help to have somewhere to take those ...Yes, it does help to have somewhere to take those sad, complicated feelings, or just to have them acknowledged. Sorry that this can be a sad tone for you. It's good that you had a service to go to, if only for a while.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-73993258018926137362016-12-29T14:18:27.415-08:002016-12-29T14:18:27.415-08:00Thank you for this post. The next generation isn&#...Thank you for this post. The next generation isn't there for my family, nor will it ever be. I still struggle with that, and especially at times like Christmas. I'm glad you were able to attend the service. Dh & I used to attend a holiday candlelighting service sponsored by our pg loss support group, and found it so comforting. I miss it sometimes. loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-38413872284543513582016-12-24T14:05:11.076-08:002016-12-24T14:05:11.076-08:00I'm so sorry you had to experience that moment...I'm so sorry you had to experience that moment, but also impressed, not to mention equal parts shocked, that somebody actually said aloud the words "but what if the next generation isn't there?" But it's true: we don't all have that comfort. I send the good wishes back for a Christmas where all the complicated feelings are welcomed and given a place to rest.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-44774244387399114382016-12-24T14:01:04.354-08:002016-12-24T14:01:04.354-08:00Thanks! I hope the same for you. I'm sure Meli...Thanks! I hope the same for you. I'm sure Melisandre would say some consoling things, then probably follow it up with a suggestion of human sacrifice or something. I find her possibly the creepiest character in that show. Many of the characters do atrocious things, but it's for power, or sexual gratification, or expediency. I find it more disturbing when religion/spirituality is used as a justification. Probably because of my religious cult background and knowing just how destructive those manipulations are. Yes, there are so many ways that infertility is lonely. Different depending on the circumstances, but somehow resulting in very similar feelings.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-86001762788946631882016-12-24T13:32:00.016-08:002016-12-24T13:32:00.016-08:00Years ago, Grey and I attended an ACS event where ...Years ago, Grey and I attended an ACS event where the speaker talked about how cancer had ravenged his family. He had a moment where he stopped and talked fondly about how the next generation made it possible for him to keep fighting. We were in the midst of multiple failed treatments at that point and I couldn't help but tear up. One person took notice, saying the question I wasn't able to (said in a hushed whisper that only a couple of other people heard and it still shocked them): what if there isn't that next generation isn't there?<br /><br />The holidays are tough times for those of us who have lost someone from our lives or are facing uncertainty. With the focus so deep on celebrating and family, it's impossible not to find moments of melancholy. But the truth is there is healing that comes with remembering and it's also an important part of this season. This service sounds like a wonderful way to honor that.<br /><br />Thinking of you as you go through this season without your dad. May there be good news for you all with the coming year.Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5227945636407573872.post-70817088548151177122016-12-24T05:38:28.047-08:002016-12-24T05:38:28.047-08:00What a beautiful idea, this Blue Christmas service...What a beautiful idea, this Blue Christmas service. I can see how each person's story could send other people down paths of their own grief, though, sort of like a support group in my experience. Helpful to see and feel that common experience, but then the possibility of rabbit holes. Oh wow, I just imagined Melisandre as a grief counselor, and it did not work (or did work but in a really funny way). <br /><br />I can only imagine how difficult this Christmas is for your mom, and for you -- you are so sensitive to think about how all your lives have changed with your dad's passing but that you go home to your family and she goes home to an empty home... that brought tears to my eyes. I'm glad the candle helped. I'm sorry that there's a generational gap in the number of children, that is a double-edged sword for AJ. Our mystery baby, should he/she come, won't have any same-aged cousins as Bryce is an only child and my sister's stepsons are 18 and 24, more uncles than cousins. My extended family had lots of kids and I'm jealous of the cousinry in other parts of the country, but I guess we'll have to find cousin-y people in playmates. I can understand mourning the second child that has yet to be, and the lack of other tiny people for AJ to grow up with.<br /><br />Oh holidays, so bittersweet for the celebrations and the reminders of grief. Thinking of you and hoping you have a beautiful holiday season, more sweet than bitter. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.com