Monday 29 December 2014

Microblog Mondays: New year, new stuff to do and write about


Ok, not technically the new year yet, but already I have so many "new" things on my mind!

AJ is doing great. She is bigger all the time, and giving us more and more smiles when she's in a good mood, including big gummy grins. Here is one of my favourite photos. This is the one we put on her Christmas keepsake ornament. She is already bigger than in the photo (goodbye cute fish pajamas that daddy bought her) but I'm behind on downloading and organizing photos.



I will write something about Christmas holidays eventually (hope everyone had a good one and/or survived with some grace). But my mind is already turning to the new, so here somewhat briefly are things on my mind:

1) Breastmilk storage/pumping

I have been planning to do this for a while but only worked up the nerve recently. I am hoping in the new year to be able to leave AJ with someone (i.e. grandparent) so I can resume weekly activities like band and hopefully a dance class. Not to mention being able to go on the occasional date with Mr. Turtle. But for this to work the babysitter has to be able to feed AJ and since I am exclusively breastfeeding, this means getting a supply of milk. So I'm having a go with the Medela hand pump. I didn't want to invest in an electric pump if the hand one would be sufficient ($60 vs. up to $200). It seems to be working in that pumping doesn't hurt and I'm expressing milk, but it is slow going. For the most part I'm only expressing milk after a feed, so I suppose it makes sense that there isn't much left. It comes out a few drops at a time, so it is rather tedious. My goal is to have between 40 and 50 mL collected by the end of today, which doesn't sound like a lot, but perhaps good for a start?

Any other moms have experience with using a hand pump and what kind of results to expect?

2) Car!

After being car-free up to age 30, then a one car household for the next four and a half years, I now have a car! So it is the end of an era but the beginning of another one and I am mostly positive about it. We were able to import my MIL's 2006 Volvo which I'm told is a good car. (I know nothing about cars and just want it to get me from A to B without breaking down. Oh, and a seat warmer is essential.) This should mean I am less house-bound and dependent on others. Of course my task is to get confident with city driving. I have had my license since age 18 and I have some experience driving, but it is something I have gone to great lengths to avoid in the city. Even when our shared car was available to me I preferred to take transit, walk or car pool.  So I have some work to do, including working up the nerve  for that first solo drive with AJ. There are places nearby I can go, I can choose to avoid high stress times like rush hour, and I have extras like Garmin and AMA membership, so I really have no excuses, although I will probably never understand the Romance of the Car that many people have.

3) Weight

It's not a big deal, but I would like to lose the last 10 pounds or so of baby weight. I feel fine and I'm happy with my body proportions, but I have a wardrobe of clothes that don't quite fit! Especially pants (trousers for UK readers). Pre-pregnancy I liked clothes a lot and bought quite a few, so I would like to be able to wear them again and not have to replace that many things, especially now with a tighter budget. I have been wearing my maternity jeans and knitted leggings, but as I get re-acquainted with my body post-birth I would like to wear real pants again. When I left the hospital I thought I would never wear anything but yoga pants again, but behold, I am moving on! Or at least thinking about it. I have decided to buy a couple of pairs of "real" pants that fit right now, however, so I'm not stuck in maternity jeans on the days that I do care what I'm wearing.

3) Child care for the fall

In my city it's common for parents to put their children on daycare waiting lists well before they are born. Well, if you read my blog during pregnancy you know that daycare was the last thing on my mind. Fine, whatever. But now I have definitely have to think about it, as the assumption is that I'll return to work in the fall. I've made a couple of inquiries; I don't know much yet. I really hate even thinking about child care for AJ, when she is so new and the time with her so precious, but it's not something that can be decided last minute. This could be the most stressful thing I deal with this year.

4) Birth control

Ack, what to think or do? This is one topic that I don't ever recall anyone blogging about! In our last post-natal class, the instructor went to great lengths to tell us how bad it is to get pregnant in the months after birth, how the body is not ready again for 18 months, etc. The general cultural assumption seems to be that you go on birth control after giving birth, because "anything can happen!" but of course that's assuming both partners are (optimally?) fertile. So I will go ahead and ask: Any IFfers who have had a baby (or have an opinion), did you use birth control (not counting breast feeding) and if so what kind? Or did you assume you would be your own birth control? I have such conflicted feelings about this because of course it brings up the question of a second child and if/how/when.

Happy new year to everyone; I hope 2015 brings you closer to your hopes and dreams.

...all about Microblog Mondays and post your entry!....

20 comments:

  1. Good luck with daycare! I know how stressful that is. You may have some luck with home daycare because some don't make waiting lists.

    I always pump about an hour after feeding her because I find I get more that way and still have enough left for her next feefeeding. First thing in the morning is good too.

    Happy New Year!

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    1. thanks for the input! we had some success today in that Mr. Turtle was able to give AJ the bottle and she drank 40~mL. He did have to coax her into it by having her suck his finger first but it worked. She had a little bit of the breast after that but not a lot. I then was able to pump 50+ mL. That is really encouraging as I feel like I will be able to build up a freezer stash.

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  2. I'm sorry you're already having to deal with daycare. I think it was wise to wait until after having her though. We toured a daycare when I was pregnant and I had no clue how we would parent or which things I'd end up finding important so we thought it all looked great. Now I would never send him there - and I decided to be a SAHM for now so a complete 180 from what I thought we'd want.

    I always got the most milk pumping in the morning, especially when Sawyer started sleeping longer stretches and my body hadn't adjusted to the lower demand during the night yet.

    As for birth control, I think that depends on whether or not you'd be ok having another one. Even if it is a small small chance, you'd still have to think about it and agree. I don't actually think it is all that horrible to get pregnant again quickly. I asked our RE and GP and both said it would be fine, that it was more in the old days when women would actually suffer bone density loss etc. but now with prenatals the 2nd baby wouldn't lose out on nutrients. I was pregnant briefly when Sawyer was 6 months and got nothing but congratulations from doctors. And the fertility clinic checked my c-section scar via ultrasound in May when Sawyer was 11 months and said everything healed fine and there was no reason to wait even though I had read online that for repeat c-sections babies should be 2 years apart. For us anyway, I could not bring myself to use birth control and we decided that any more babies would be very welcome.

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    1. Thanks for the ideas! sounds like mornings would be a good time to pump so I will have to try that. I am getting more results now so feeling encouraged. I would also like if I can just pump once or twice a day so I am not missing out on playing with AJ because I'm pumping. Also appreciate the feedback on BC. I am glad to hear that not all doctors think that an early pregnancy would be a disaster. From the tone people took I felt guilty even implying that I might not want to use BC.

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  3. Happy New Year Turtle! Gorgeous picture of AJ!

    1) I use a hand pump for my freezer stash and found I get the best results in the morning, after a warm shower and a hot drink. If I am at all stressed, its much harder to express. Looking at Pickle (or photos of her and thinking about her) helps too. And it sounds funny but I find I get more if I just pump the pump handle thingy when the flow slows down rather than pumping all the time. So a couple of pumps to set it off and I hold/massage my breast while it all flows out, then another couple of pumps etc if that makes sense. I couldn't get anything with an electric pump - it was too... clinical? Messed with my mind.

    2) While I prefer public transport, it is definitely helpful to be able to nip places in the car between feeds/naps!

    3) They say if you're breastfeeding the weight falls off you between three and six months after birth. That was true for me. However I still fit none of my pre-pregnancy clothing as my trousers are now too big and my tops don't accommodate Pickle's milk supply :-). I'm sure those last 10 pounds will shift for you soon enough.

    3a) All the best with the childcare. Apparently here it is customary to put your name down on daycare waiting lists when you reach 4 months pregnant! Don't let it stress you out.

    4) We decided against birth control. We'd be thrilled to conceive again. I'm not worried while Pickle is still feeding at night, but once my cycle is back to normal I plan to be a bit careful with timing for a few months to make sure I'm in good health. Its a hard one - time marching on vs health as my odds are already so low, but I think I'd rather not conceive than have another loss.

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    1. Thanks for all the great input! very interesting comments about the pumping. I never thought of it as a psycho-emotional matter but it totally makes sense that feelings influence milk flow. Also never thought of just pumping a couple of times and letting it come out...I'm not sure if my let down is strong enough but I will have to try that!

      Good points to think about on the other matters too.

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  4. Being that it took us 4 years and 3 IVF treatments to get our boy, I was very sure we'd not get pregnant on our own again. So why bother with birth control?! Sure, we knew it could happen, so it was a risk that we were willing to take...if only because we didn't prevent. Not that we had sex that often in the beginning or even recently.
    As we were told by some (before and after) sometimes the body resets itself after a pregnancy and it is easier to get pregnant the second time. Who knew?! It really does only take once? :O

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    1. It's nice to think it might be easier to get pregnant the second time. It's hard to think logically when we are dealing with such vague probabilities....it's not really "planning" per se. We're talking about where we stand on this as a family...in the meantime, I did want to know what others' thoughts are. Oh, and congratulations on your BFP :-) I hope everything goes awesome.

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  5. I've read quite a few people who are now deciding on birth control after birth, and really not wanting to go the hormonal route. For us, I think just tracking again will work, but it's not a conversation we've had yet! AJ is so adorable I want to squish her and smooch her and cuddle her up!! I love those ocean pyjamas. They're perfect!! As for daycare, have you considered a nanny share? As someone who's worked in daycares and as a nanny, if I weren't planning to stay home I would look for a nanny share with a Montessori-trained nanny and a family close in age. Cheaper than a nanny, plus socialization, AND way more flexibility to do things like days out and even visit you at work if you have free time.

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    1. Thanks for the ideas. AJ seems especially cuddly right now, what with the smiles and coos and the fact she is a perfect size for snuggling. I definitely am not doing hormonal birth control. I've never liked the idea of it, and I've only been on it once before the IVF cycle and did not like it. Tracking would probably work for us too, except that I'm not sure I want to add yet another ritual into my day. Between feeding, pumping, trying to remember my multivitamin, and eat at least two healthy meals a day I feel like I have enough to keep track of! Also I think it would be really hard to chart to avoid pregnancy....I'm so used to TTC I would be like, FERTILE DAY! Let's DO IT! lol.

      Thanks for the idea of nanny share....I had considered a nanny in the case it was impossible to find convenient daycare. Haven't thought about sharing though.

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  6. A lot of stuff to process. AJ is so cute in that picture. She is so alert!

    I don't have a great love of driving, but I have a great love of the freedom it provides. We live out in the middle of nowhere, so without the car, we'd be cut off from everything. Which is sometimes nice (I didn't leave the house today) but sometimes maddening when you need ingredients in the middle of baking.

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    1. I hope your "middle of nowhere" has nice scenery and fresh air - it can be worth it for those things! I have always been a city girl so have had the option to use public transit and be within walking distance. It really is a learning curve to have to depend on a car. I will have to do baby steps I think - especially since there's a baby involved. I'm still really scared to be responsible for AJ AND driving a car!

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  7. I put Chalupa Batman on a couple of day care waiting lists when I was 10 weeks pregnant. I thought the people at the day cares would think I was nuts, but it was apparently totally normal. Insane! Obviously I don't have any experience giving birth and then going on BC, but I do know at least one blogger who was, like you, an "urban legend" pregnancy and hence decided she didn't need to go on BC. She had her second baby just over a year later! So I'd definitely think about going on something if you don't want to risk it right now!

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    1. Good for you for being so organized re: daycare :-D I think I can honestly say daycare was one thing that did not even cross my mind in pregnancy. Well maybe I thought about it but not in any way that was memorable. I would rather not be pregnant during the first year of AJ's life; that would be extremely stressful I think. When I was replying to Adi about how fertility timing seems just too complicated right now, I also thought: well, how much more complicated a second pregnancy or baby would be! Duh! On the other hand, if that was our only chance for a second child, I would go for it. I guess Mr. Turtle and I will just have to decide what we are comfortable with.

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  8. We decided for birth control - although the main intended effect is endometriosis control, so I may be a special case. Much as I want more babies, having been pregnant 14 of the last 18 months, a break seems in order.

    Also, you're way ahead in terms of pumping and daycare - and I'm the one who was supposed to go back to work tomorrow.

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    1. Thanks for the feedback! Yeah, if it was really a choice I would much rather not be pregnant the first year of AJ's life. The hesitation comes from feeling like it isn't really a choice, and that there might just be one good egg left and Cant. Lose It! But I'm aware that's an emotional response rather than a logical one. What, going back to work already? Noooo! I know circumstances are rarely ideal but I do hope you get as much time time as possible to enjoy your baby, however it works out. Pumping is going well; bottle feeding is somewhat more challenging.

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  9. I'm so late on this post. I hear you on the growing out of the cute newborn PJs!

    Still figuring out pumping over here. Only pump 1-2 days a week and J feed a her with the Avent natural bottle. I got a double electric pump free through insurance and it's alright. I don't like pumping.

    Cars and driving take lots of practice. You'll get there!

    We're going with breastfeeding and fertility awareness tracking for birth control.

    Daycare and weight haven't gotten any attention around here yet. Soon maybe.

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    1. Thanks for the feedback! Yeah, pumping is weird. Sometimes AJ stares at me while I'm pumping, as if to say, what are you DOING with my milk?
      Thanks for the nice words re: driving. I do kind of regret that I've developed an aversion through avoidance and now I'm dealing with the negative thoughts/fears and feeling like a fool for it. But I am dealing with it so that's a start! I guess I just assumed it would be easier to start driving regularly. Appreciate input on BC. It's helpful to hear how others approach it. And glad to hear I wasn't the only one who didn't think about daycare :-D

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  10. She is lovely. She has such a winning smile.

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    1. thank you! I love her smile in that photo.

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