Monday, 20 October 2014

MicroBlog Mondays: Waiting




So, it's, er, one day before Ember's due date.

I've been trying to not get too invested in the due date. Despite the fact that for the past two, three months (especially the last one) all anybody wants to know is "When are you due?" whereupon I give this mythical date of October 21st, knowing that it may not actually mean anything.

Our physical space is ready for a baby. I can come up with other things to do of course: on the agenda for today (possibly) is going through my hall closet (not many closets in the house so must optimize space), vacuuming the downstairs, going through and shredding old mail, because.....well, it would feel good on some level to not have piles of old mail around. And laundry, there's always something to do with laundry. On the other hand, none of that is really necessary.  The necessary things are done: baby supplies are in place, even the hospital bags are packed.  Despite being procrastinators, we got there.

One thing I would like to do is work out some dependable method for photo organizing and sharing. We won't be doing a lot of Facebook photo sharing, but we do want to be able to share with family and close friends who are not close by. I have been playing around with Google Picasa, which seems promising. Unfortunately, any job that involves learning and concentration is not really my thing these days. A few weeks ago my brain kind of stopped processing and organizing new information.

It occurred to me the other day that waiting for the birth is a bit like a two week wait. With the notable difference that this time around something has to happen. But the rituals are a bit similar, e.g. symptom spotting:

  • Am I having more Braxton-Hicks?
  • Was that contraction maybe a little bit painful?
  • Is that heavy feeling in my pelvis?
  • Am I going to the washroom more often?
  • Any sign of mucous plug? (not so far)
  • Is baby sitting lower? (probably)
So far, any "symptom" of impending birth has been fleeting: here now, then gone. At my 39 week appointment last Thursday, the doctor said cervix was shortening and softening but was still completely closed.  She said though that baby was descending and putting pressure on the escape hatch, which sooner or later will ease it open.  "Lots of good things happening." The rational part of my brain has no problem with Ember taking her time, as long as she is healthy. The less rational part doesn't like waiting and can come up with too many Scenarios.

On the other hand, birth doesn't seem quite real yet. Despite all the classes and preparations, I don't quite believe that this is going to happen to my body, inside of my own skin

It seems to me like Ember had been more aware and responsive the past few days. Maybe she's just big enough now that I noticed almost every movement, but it feels like she's more tuned into her environment: she wakes up when I wake up (and is sometimes awake when I'm not), moves in response to my belly being stroked, or a change in position.

So, a quiet day of chores and belly wriggles. Probably. And waiting while trying not to consciously, well, wait.

Update: My doula sent me the link to this article, which I thought was really good:

The Last Days of Pregnancy

20 comments:

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    1. thank you! I know, I hope she comes soon too.

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  2. WOW. I can't believe she's almost here! I know it could still be as much as a couple weeks (unless your doctor would induce you earlier?) but still. This is pretty amazing. Congratulations on cooking your little miracle to perfection!!

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    1. It is really cool to be here. I don't know about induction; I'll have to ask when/why they would do that. I don't want to be induced but if I have to wait too long I might be tempted.

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  3. So exciting that she's so close to being out and in the world. Sending lots of good thoughts in case you go into labour before the next post :-) Hey, you never know.

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    1. thank you! would love next post to be a birth announcement. But, we'll have to see.

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  4. The end of one long journey with twists and turns and the beginning of another... It must be so hard waiting to meet Ember. All the best!

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    1. thanks! you are so right....every ending is a new beginning. Getting anxious for that new beginning.

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  5. So exciting that she's almost here!
    Yesterday I went to L&D because of my blood pressure being its usual jittery self (and me being a good patient), and it was the first time I went being excited at the thought of meeting my baby soon - although I am glad we'll try to get another week or so :)
    Also, I totally get your perspective on birth not seeming quite "real" yet. They'll show us, I suppose... ;)

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    1. yes, they will show us! good to hear you are taking care of your health. It's surreal when it gets this close.

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  6. Good luck with the wait. Hope you have lots of good distractions in the meantime and that Ember arrives when she is perfectly baked. Hope you will do a super quick update to let us know when she arrives. Sending strong, safe and peaceful laboring thoughts your way.

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    1. thanks for the good thoughts Marcy! I'll keep working on those distractions :-D

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  7. Happy Due Date! Ember will be here so soon and I can't wait to hear the news!

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    1. thank you Maddie! sending good thoughts your way too xo

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  8. So very excited for you! Can't wait for the update about her arrival!

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    1. thank you! looking forward to making that update too!

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  9. Oh my gosh not long now!! I remember feeling the same way about going into labour... it's just so hard to imagine it happening to your own body until it does.

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    1. hehe! I actually re-read your birth story just now because I remember you writing about being in a similar place.

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  10. OOO! I missed this post! Good luck with everything! I can't wait to hear how everything is.

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    1. thank you :-) So far, much the same.

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